Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Old Man Chic

Hot damn, it has been a long time since my last post. To those of you who read and enjoy my occasional ramblings, I apologize for the extended absence. As it turns out, when you work from home and have little reason to dress up, inspiration to write about dressing up is sparse. If I blathered on about the slim jeans and plaid shirts I wear on days when I don't have appointments, I'd sound like any issue of GQ that's been published over the last five years. If I didn't have something worthwhile to say, then I'd say nothing at all.

To the rest of the world that could give a damn about this blog, well, I guess none of this matters anyway. Carry on.


Check these puppies out, and note that I wouldn't wear them with these jeans or socks:

I already threw these up somewhere on Bookface so these might not be new to some of you. My apologies. I was, however, asked what makes for "old man chic." Here's a little run-down on what I hope to dress like when I'm rocking bushy eyebrows and yelling at the neighborhood kids to GET THE HELL OFF MY LAWN:

  1. The fact that we're looking at a tassel loafer specifically puts us into old man territory. I've written about tassel loafers previously so I won't spend too much time on this, but trust me when I say that tassels on shoes traditionally signal an exit from middle-aged manhood into old manhood.
  2. Now that we've established that these are old man shoes, what makes them old man chic? First, peep the contrasting color tassel. Second, peep how it matches the trim around the shoe's outer edge. Wasn't that some worthwhile peeping you just did?
  3. Full disclosure: these are not real crocodile skin shoes. They're a regular leather (cow hide) that's been embossed to resemble crocodile and I think it's sleek as hell. When I was younger I used to dislike exotic skins and their replicas (croc, alligator, ostrich, stingray, etc.), but they've grown on me in recent years. In fact, it's appropriate that my I indulge my age-related change in taste with some old man shoes, isn't it?   
I'd also like to point out that the vamp on these shoes (see link above for a full explanation of a vamp) is much lower than the other pairs of tassels that I own. This, in my opinion, gives them even more geriatric style but also makes them more difficult to pull off for a guy who hasn't even had the chance to decline to go to his ten-year college reunion. I have a sneaking suspicion, though, that once the weather warms up these are going to kill with slim khakis and no socks. Just saying.

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