Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Wife Beater+Athletic Shorts=You Look Like a Douche

It's apparently Haterade Week here at DLAMGD. There's no rhyme or reason to it except that there seems to be more inspiration out there lately than normal. On the other hand, when you're at a diner at 2 AM, you're not necessarily going to see the cream of the sartorial crop.

Study the picture above. You'll notice a guy in a wife beater, athletic shorts, and basketball sneakers. To properly demonstrate how this makes one look like a douche, I'll begin my analysis from the bottom up.

1. Sneakers: They're basketball sneakers. By all means, wear them while playing basketball. Hell, wear them while doing anything athletic, I don't give a shit. They just look kind of sloppy, even at a diner.

2. Gym shorts: First, these shorts are insanely long; they hit at mid-calf. I've written other articles about this and if I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: these are called capri pants, and they're for girls. If you're gonna wear long shorts, at least man up like my buddy Dima and buy some actual capri pants. I don't like them, but I respect him for owning up to what he's wearing.

Second, these are gym shorts, and this picture wasn't taken at a gym. Christ, even some ugly crap like denim cargo shorts would have looked better than this. Keep athletic wear at the gym.

3. Wife Beater: This is the most egregiously douchey part of the outfit, the douche-de-resistance, if you will. The wife beater (or A-Shirt, as it's called on the Hanes package) is appropriate in the following contexts:

a. As an undershirt (though it doesn't absorb armpit sweat like a normal t-shirt)
b. As something you wear when you know you're going to get dirty and sweaty: yard work, helping someone move, other types of manual labor, etc.

Here's the thing with guys who wear WB's as their shirt: they seem to think they're buff as all hell. The nature of the shirt is to show off your arms and shoulders, so it obviously looks best (though still not good) on guys who are in shape. Most guys who wear them "out," however, aren't in shape. A prime example: the dude in this picture. He's not ripped, he's not big. In fact, he was soft and a little chunky. In wearing a WB, he's basically saying that he thinks he's hot shit, that women love him and men fear his bulging biceps.

He was wrong. He looked like a douche.


  1. You're a bigger douche than him for analyzing it. Let him do his thing. Just because you're not comfortable like that doesn't mean you should criticize other people who want to dress like t hat.

  2. Jancarius, thank you for your comment. I see that as well. Of course, look lean and muscular men better. But the Wifebeater-shirt looks very sexy when it is ripped. And a guy who does not look perfect in it can feel closer to the ideal. And for others it is quite interesting, if he dares to wear such a sexy wifebeater. He does something, and not everyone can ausshen as an idol. And I also liked his shoulders and armpits. It is certainly great hands in his wifebeater grasp. Would not it be terrible if all only in black t-shirts were running around.


This blog is a forum for me and anyone else to discuss men's style, share ideas, and ask/answer questions in an adult, civilized manner. As such, any comments that deviate from these guidelines will not be published. Thanks for understanding, and I look forward to hearing from you.