Tuesday, July 27, 2010
News Flash: Pajama Pants Are For Bedtime
I have a confession to make. Back when I was nineteen and a second-semester college freshman, I learned a lesson. Like so many valuable lessons one learns in college, this took place outside the classroom. In fact, it was in the dining hall.
I remember it like it was yesterday. It was a Saturday, meaning that my friends and I were catching breakfast together at about 1:30 in the afternoon. Seeing as I had awoken only 15-20 minutes before this, I decided that it was kosher to mosey on over there wearing a t-shirt and pajama pants.
If I could type the buzzer sound that indicates "wrong" on game shows, I would type it here.
The woman who swiped our ID's to let us in recognized me. She was an older black woman with whom I had a bit of a rapport; we didn't know each other well, but we liked each other and the enjoyment of our brief interactions was both genuine and mutual. When she saw me in pajamas, however, she made no bones about calling me out on it.
"Baby, next time you come 'round here, you need to put some pants on."
Her scolding was maternal in nature, and I was mortified. But she was right, and I deserved to be. I was out in public, and while I was a college kid whose biggest problems were an inability to attract girls or incur the same amount of alcohol poisoning as my buddies, I still had to show some respect to the people around me and put on some actual, legitimate pants.
The man in the picture above was easily in his mid-to-late forties, and for the record, he wasn't homeless (homeless people get free passes from DLAMGD for obvious reasons). Sure, the windowpane pattern on the pants is actually pretty sweet, but that still doesn't take away from the fact that he looks completely foolish. The "I Just Got Out Of Bed" look is no way to present yourself to the world unless its in the comfort of your own home.