Friday, July 16, 2010

All I Wanted Was An Iced Coffee

After dropping my bass off to get repaired for the second time in two months, I decided that because it was over ninety fucking degrees outside, I deserved an iced coffee. I waltzed into a coffee shop and saw what you see in this photo. My first thought was as follows:

"What the fuck?"

My second thought was, "I don't understand why anyone would do this." For one, it looks sloppy and conveys no message other than "I didn't, even for a second, put any thought into what I was going to wear today. In fact, I may very well be completely unaware that I look like shit." If something other than a living being could "look lazy," socks and sandals would be it.

Second, it doesn't make any logical sense. Sandals are meant to be worn without socks, so if it's hot enough to warrant wearing sandals, why the fuck would you wear socks with them and hold more heat near your body?

My advice is simple: Fuck socks with sandals. This is sartorial dumbassery, and doing it will make you look like a dumbass.


  1. Is that an Air Jordan on his sandal?! Not only is he wearing socks, but they're black. He is totally defeating the purpose of that 1990's sandal. Sad.

  2. Personally speaking - I think "man-dals" should not be allowed outside of the confines of the shower or locker room. It might be chic in Milan but there is no frigging way I want to gaze upon a man's big, hairy, caveman-like feet while out and about doing my thing. The worst of the worst violation being the Adidas "classic" black and white model - quite similar to the Air Jordon version sported by your coffee house dude. I have a dear friend who has such a God awful pair, and whenever he shows up flip flopping about, I have to shield my eyes and pretend, really, really hard, that they aren't even there - when in fact they are screaming look at me - I look like I just stepped off the Friggin, freakish Jersey Shore - or I am a big Yahoo A-hole and think I actually look pretty cool. Get a clue "man-dal" men and spare the rest of from your ugly feet.


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