Special Ed

Shopping is generally a hit-or-miss pastime. You'll miss more than you'll hit if your tastes are particular, and since I'm picky as all hell, I actually find myself passing over more items than I buy. Sometimes, though, I see something spectacularly ugly, and it's worth blogging about.

For those of you unfamiliar with Ed Hardy, it's a line put out by Christian Audigier, who's had a lot of success outfitting men who may not actually be douchebags but dress like them in real life. Up until when I took this photo, I figured that Ed Hardy's whole thing was limited to ultra-casualwear: t-shirts, jeans, baseball caps, and the like. I never had any idea that the brand would venture into neckties, and by doing so, it's compromised its brand identity, breached good taste even further, and managed to make me throw up in my mouth a little.

Here's the thing: I can't stand Ed Hardy. I've only witnessed one person (a woman) look good in it, but in general I think the whole line looks foolish, immature, and profoundly douchey. However, none of what I've seen of the line is obscene or unhealthy, so though I may bitch about it until I'm blue in the face, I can't say a guy is dressed "incorrectly" when he puts on a t-shirt with a bunch of skulls and flames on it with "Life, Lust, and Lollipops" or whatever scribbled on the front.

This tie, on the other hand? This is more of an affront to the senses than the stupid t-shirts, because this is trying to be something it isn't. Even with trendy men wearing ultra-skinny ties today with skinny jeans, there's still a certain elegance that a tie lends to an outfit. "Ed Hardy by Christian Audigier" is not at all elegant, and wearing it will make you look like you belong on Jersey Shore. If you actually dress like you want to be on Jersey Shore, please e-mail me to set up a consultation.

What does this say about the style of the man who chooses to wear it? I think it comes down to a lack of sartorial confidence, i.e. "I don't really know what looks good, so if I put on this obviously designer tie, people will think I look good, or at least that I'm trendy." This man doesn't know how to get attention without screaming and is willing to be a walking billboard, used by the company he's financially supporting. Avoid this at all costs, and think of it this way: if someone digs the way you're dressed, it should be in such a way that they ask you who makes your clothes; they shouldn't know right off the bat.